It’s come to my attention that being President For Life is going out of style. To lower my risk of exile or a long embarrassingly sad reign complete with bad haircuts, I’ve decided to abdicate my position starting this fall. Since my eldest son is too young, an election will be held. With great reluctance, I’ve allowed UN observers to
watch the stuffing of the ballot boxes monitor the election.
The specifics are still vague but will materialize in the next month.